Monday, February 26, 2007

Write your own Nigerian Spam.

Date: February 26, 2007, 11:01 pm
From: "Renwano Mandini" (address classified)
To: Undisclosed Recepient(s)
Dear Sir.
Your contact information was referred to me by one of my trusted contacts, whose name I am not at liberty to compromize. I would like to approach you with reguards to a profitable Business Proposal, reguarding the transfer of ONE BILLION TWO HUNDRED THIRTY FOUR MILLION FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY SEVEN THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED NINETY ($1,234,567,890) U.S. Dollars into your Bank Account. For reasons I am sure you will appreciate, I ask that you keep this commucation confidential, and avoid it falling into the hands of any agents of the Angolan Intelligence Service that may be operating in Your area.
My name is Renwano Mandini, and I am the Loyal Servant of Reverend Renwano DeLacroix, the recently Assassinated General in the People's Army of Angola. If you have been following the events in my country over the last few years, you will remember the big scandal that took place when Reverend DeLacroix was brutally gunned down in front of his vacation house, just outside of the capital.
You see, my Master had a lot of enemies among the other Generals, who envied his great secret fortune. It was they who removed him in the hope to gain access to the money looted from various villages that the Army has ransacked under his command. Fortunately, there was too much scandal and media coverage in the aftermath of Reverend DeLacroix's murder for them to move openly to claim his money. This gave me and a few trusted people who were still loyal to my Master, an opportunity to move the money into a secret account at the Second Central Bank of Angola.
While we managed to do this without the Angolan Intelligence Service becoming aware of our activities, the money cannot remain in this account, because at the end of the tax year, all deposits and interest will be reported to the Taxation Bureau of Angola, where our enemies have informants in their pay. The only option available to us, is transfering the money to a trusted partner who is a foreign national and cannot be linked to Reverend Renwano DeLacroix in any way.
As your name was brought to my attention by a very trusted contact in Angola's Foreign Office, I have been authorized by my partners to contact you with this Proposal. All that would be required of you is the use of your bank account to perform a transfer of ONE BILLION TWO HUNDRED THIRTY FOUR MILLION FIVE HUNDRED SIXTY SEVEN THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED NINETY ($1,234,567,890) U.S. Dollars. Once the money has been deposited, one of Reverend DeLacroix's other Loyal Servants will contact you, at which point you will release ZERO DOLLARS ($0) of the amount into his custody.
I am authorized by my Master's estate in Angola to offer you the remaining ONE DOLLARS ($1) as a compensation for your services. Because the money would only need to be in your bank account for a few days, and your danger of being discovered by The Angolan Intelligence Service is minimal, we believe the commission of TWENTY PERCENT (20 %) to be more than generous.
Once I have received Your consent and Bank Account number, I will be able to make a claim under Your name with The Angolan Trust Fund for the above sum. We have a friend on the Board Of Oversight in that organization who has assured me that the claim will be processed without raising any red flags, and the money will be released into Your Bank Account no later than within SEVEN (7) days from the time I receive your response.
I am at your disposal to answer any questions you may have about this Transaction, so don't hesitate to contact me via telephone, at +1-555-555-6366 (Just ask for Renwano). I eagerly await your reply, though I must ask you to treat this matter with great secrecy, lest you betray me and my partners to the agents of Angolan Intelligence Service.
Respectfully Yours,
Renwano Mandini
LINK

2 comments:

AMAZING GRACIE said...

Now, THAT'S funny!!! Except for old folks in the last rages of dementia, anyone who falls for this gets their just deserts.

Scooter said...

I'm with you, Gracie. I receive several just like that each week. :)